DEFIANCE: friend or foe?
I’ve always been defiant. Even when I was a little girl, my parents knew that the last way to get me to do something was to tell me to do it. I could be reasoned with, cajoled, asked or bribed, but never ordered.
Through the years, my defiance has gotten me into a lot of trouble. It’s put me at odds with supervisors, clients and friends. It has definitely caused some fights between my husband and me.
When it comes to my writing, though, I can use my defiance to my advantage. True, I often rebel against my own action plans and schedules. That’s okay, as long as things get done in a reasonable time frame, and deadlines are met.
So where does all this defiance help out? It helps when no one but me really cares whether I write or not; when no one thinks I will ever get anywhere as a screenwriter. I’m too old to start, the jobs are too hard to get, and I don’t know the right people. Sometimes the messages come from family and friends, and sometimes from inside me. My defiance says “I’ll prove you wrong.” Sometimes it says “That may be true for the rest of the world, but not for me.”
You can call it tenacity, fortitude, persistence, dedication or self-discipline. All of those words are applicable to my pursuit of a screenwriting career. But when I’m sitting in front of my computer writing a screenplay, it doesn’t feel like any of those words apply. It feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It feels like home.
That’s where my good friend Defiance steps up and says, “I will do this for a living, because I’m good at it. Nothing anyone says can stop me.”