Success

It’s measured in moments. Tiny increments of achievement, over time add up to significant progress. Sometimes you notice them. Once in a while, someone else notices. Most often, they go unrecognized in the daily grind of life, when you struggle at the keyboard to finish a scene, to edit what you wrote yesterday, to elevate the content from the mundane and derivative to something fresh and captivating.

Suddenly, one day, you’ve arrived at a milestone. You didn’t see it or hear it coming, but you felt it gathering. Maybe you weren’t sure what it was, exactly, but you knew things were shifting, you were getting somewhere. In moments of doubt, you wondered if it was your imagination. There’s only one thing to do. Keep writing.

It’s been a few years now, and you are sending out an application, just like the rest of the world of aspiring screenwriters. That most coveted prize of the ABC/Disney Fellowship dangles before you. You know you’re a serious candidate, that you’d be an asset to the staff table, but hardly dare to hope that anyone else will recognize that. There are many gifted people out there. How do you stand out from the crowd?

So, you call on your most trusted teacher/advisor, and ask him to take another look at your spec script, even though he’s already evaluated it several times. And just to be sure, get a fresh pair of eyes to look it over, too. They tell you it’s good, although those words are not usually spoken in the context of the evaluation. Aside from a few suggestions of small edits, they have no notes for me. In fact, they both say they like it better than the show it’s based on. And in that moment you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you can really do it. You can achieve your dream and write for TV.

Now you are ready, and you dare to ask for the letters of recommendation you need to include with the application. It seems incredibly audacious, but you ask the friend in the writers’ room who’s too busy to eat if she’ll take a look at your script and write a recommendation. Since she knows how hard you work, and how much you want it, and also because she’s incredibly nice, she says she’ll be honored. You’ve already received another letter from your first teacher, an award-winning filmmaker. You really admire his work, and the praise in the letter is dazzling. He writes as though you are his equal.

You’re calm. Even though you’ve worked years for this recognition, you didn’t expect it. You know you’re ready to move on to the next level. There’s no mania, none of the adrenalin that accompanies forcing the way through things you just have to have. Your brain buzzes with hope and something else. That feeling that you’ve earned your seat and that it’s coming. Maybe you’ll win the fellowship and maybe you won’t, but you deserve it.

That moment is real success. And no achievement will ever feel better.

The Endless Maintenance of Life

Hi all,

When I first started blogging, it was really important to me, and I spent a lot of time making sure I wasn’t putting anything up there that would embarrass me later. In fact, there were times I spent so much time on it, that I stopped working on my screenplays for a while. Inevitably I remembered my priorities, stopped blogging and started screenwriting.

Well, that’s great, but I’ve come to the conclusion that a little balance would make a big difference. I am in the midst of a crunch, working with a writing partner to finish a script by the end of the month, I’m also doing script coverage and meeting with a monthly writers group, and not meeting deadlines on some online articles I promised.

The most positive thing about my screenwriting being at the center of my life, is that my mission and goals are always right before me, ensuring that most of my time is spent working towards them. How awesome is that? The only problem is that I am not just a screenwriter. I’m a wife and mother, a housekeeper (albeit a terrible one), a bill payer, a once-in-a-while administrator for my husbands business, a sister, friend and aunt. Not to mention, I’m a person with a body that needs care after hunching over a computer for six hours a day. Add in sleep, hygiene and meals, along with approximately three hours per day spent watching TV I’m not about to give up, an hour reading and studying, and time for my kids, and two hours for a trip to the gym, plus travel, and it’s no wonder I have no time to do the laundry, or energy to meet a friend.

So how do people find balance, without losing sight of what the real priorities are? If I’m honest, undone tasks get as much in the way of my personal fulfillment as not writing would. Maybe not as much, but close enough. I think the secret is to give a little bit of time to each area habitually, so things don’t smolder into fires that need putting out. 10 minutes of picking up 3 times per day keeps the house reasonably livable, and assuages my conscience enough to delegate some tasks to the kids. My reasoning goes, if I’m not doing it, how can I expect them to? Faulty perhaps, but there it is.

As far as the blogging goes, maybe I don’t have to be so careful. Maybe I’ll put my foot in my mouth and it will come back to haunt me. Maybe it’s not that important and it’s okay to just check in. I’m gonna give that a try.