A Networking Story

Hi all,

I’ve been having some good luck with networking lately, and I thought I would share the following emails I exchanged with Manny Fonseca. He’s a weekly columnist for the http://www.thebusinessofshowinstitute.com/newsletter-06-29-12.html#06-29-12-12 . He also mentioned me in this week’s column. If you’re a screenwriter and you’re not reading this newsletter, you are missing out on a valuable opportunity to gain insider knowledge of the industry at no cost.

As far as networking is concerned, I’ve come to believe that there is no one too important to  reach out to, so long as you know how to do it and respect boundaries. Here is our exchange:

Hi Manny,

I love your column and appreciate the time you take to help out those of us trying to break into the business. I particularly love your advice on what not to do when you get an opportunity to meet with mucky-mucks.

I’m a fairly new screenwriter in New York, and have been working hard to master the craft for about three years. My goal is to get a job in TV at the staff table. I’ve applied for the network fellowships and workshops, but know what a long shot it is. Everyone has told me that I have to be in LA to work in TV, and I have taken this advice to heart. I definitely don’t want to die without at least giving it a chance.

A few months ago you mentioned the “living in LA” question in your column, and said something like — if you’re married, and your spouse doesn’t want to move, leave him. Although I know you were joking, I agree that there are worse reasons for separation! In my case it is not only my husband, but also my two teenagers who have no desire to be in LA. I am making preparations to move out there on my own in the fall and give it a shot. If it works, I’ll bring them out there, if not I’ll come home. I’ve worked too hard and love this too much not to take a shot.

My question is, other than the usual approach of meeting everyone possible and attending networking events, do you have any particular advice to hit the ground running? Since I’m leaving my family to pursue my dream, I want to make the best possible use of my time.

Once again, thank you for your time and attention. I’d love to buy you a drink sometime to show my gratitude and shoot the breeze.

Karen

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Karen,

First off…wow.

What does hubby and the kids think?  Or, have you even told them yet?

I shared your email with a couple of friends over the weekend and they were both semi-horrified even going to the joke that my advice “was breaking up a family.”

I’m not like them though…I applaud what you’re doing.  The “what if” is WAY more brutal than the trying and failing thing.  At least with the latter you know now.  Know what I mean?

My advice, although it might be kinda hard, is to try and get an internship somewhere.  You need to have some development experience under your belt and some “street cred.”

The golden opportunities are getting writer assistant jobs, interns on TV shows or working as a producer’s assistant.  Not sure what your background is and what your job history is like, but I’m sure you’re more than capable of surviving out here.

I will tell you straight up…it’s VERY lonely doing it on your own.  Even when you have someone.  My roommate is a very good friend of mine.  She finally moved out here this year and it’s been pretty hard on her.  She sits in the apartment all day with little to do.  She’s working on stuff, but nowhere near the amount of stuff she WANTS to be working on.

Keep that in mind.

As for that drink.  I’m buying the first round to celebrate your newfound road to happiness.  And please know you have a friend and a supporter of the cause.  Get out here and lets make it happen!

Manny

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Hi Manny,

I have to say, it was very classy of you to respond to my email so quickly and generously. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you at all. It means a lot, and gives me so much more courage to network.

My hubby and kids are scared but supportive. We plan to Skype constantly and visit whenever possible. Since they’ve been living with my obsession, too, they know how important it is for me to give it a shot. I think if we weren’t scared it would be weird. But, I believe we’ll get through it and end up together in the same city, hopefully while we reap the benefit of financial rewards through work in screenwriting.

I’m hoping to get some production credit under my belt this summer, and also to finish my original pilot, which will give me three good samples of my work. I also believe there is a good chance I’ll at least get an interview with either Disney, WB or NBC on the Verge. My applications, spec script and reference letters were very respectable.

I’ll definitely need to have paid work when I get out there.

I have a screenwriting blog at http://karenlovestv.com. I’d like to share some of your letter with my followers, along with a referral to your column/newsletter, of course. Would that be alright with you? It’s an article about networking strategies.

I’ll keep you informed and let you know when I’m arriving! Thanks for your support and advice,

Karen


Please, share whatever you like.

Let me offer this true tale.

Be prepared.

I preface this story with the knowledge that I realize that a girlfriend is very different than a husband and kids.  I know this BUT…

Be prepared.

When I came out here I had been dating a girl for two years.  We did all the usuals.  She bought a webcam.  We made plans to Skype.   Text.  Chat daily.

Buy shit happens.  You miss you’re first Skype date and it’s “what happened”. You say working late and they’re VERY supportive.

You miss your third Skype date and it’s what the fuck?

5th and you’re growing apart.

7th and its heading downhill.

Then there’s the reverse.  You’ve just put in a 12 hour day.  You get home exhausted and just want to say hi and go to bed.  You jump on…where the hell are you?  You get this text…”watching blah blah blah, jump on in 15.” and you get resentful.  You don’t want to wait 15.  You want to go to bed.

My point is this…don’t plan anything.  Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.  Come out here ready to work but also prep yourself that it just MAY be one or the other.

What if you make it and they change their minds and don’t want to live in California?

What if you make it and they move but are resentful?

My girlfriend never had any intention of coming out here.  She never thought I’d make it and catered to the fantasy.  She supported the 3-4 month plan and then when I got a full time gig she “was happy for me” but not happy for me.  Know what I mean?

Just be prepared.

That’s all.

M

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Napoleon Hill’s 4th Key: Use Applied Faith

Some people believe in the God they learned about in their families of origin, others in a Higher Power of their own understanding. According to Napoleon Hill (and millions of twelve-steppers), it doesn’t matter what you believe in, as long as you are willing to put your faith in a Higher Power and act on it. As it says in “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “faith without works is dead.” According to Hill, faith is a state of mind that can be developed through daily practice. He refers to his own higher power as “Infinite Intelligence.”

Hill goes on to describe the various ways faith in “Infinite Intelligence” can be found. He discusses the patterns and order to be found in nature, and compares them to the workings of a wristwatch, in that it could never have been created randomly. Then he goes on to the inner workings of the mind, the still, small voice inside that guides us, the creative energy of the Mastermind Alliance, or the union of multiple minds to a single purpose, and the conscience which teaches us right from wrong.

Like Hill, I am a firm believer in a daily spiritual practice, which I have accomplished with varying degrees of success for the past twenty years or so. It began with “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron, and her wonderful suggestion of morning pages. Through those pages I found my voice as a writer, but first I found myself.  The days I didn’t write them, I felt disconnected from me. I was less able to make decisions, take positive actions, or even identify how I was feeling. My morning pages kept me in touch with what was most important to me.

From there I began to do some meditation, to write a gratitude list, and, yes, to pray. I came to believe in a Higher Power that had a plan for me. H.P. gave me talents and a dream and it became clear that it was my responsibility to use those talents. Since little else had worked for me in the career department, I threw myself into the dream of screenwriting.

I believe that’s what Hill means by “applied faith.” When those negative voices creep in to say I’m too old, not talented enough, or wasting my time, I only have to remind myself that I’ve got a job to do and my H.P. wants me to do it. And that no obstacle is too large for the Universe to conquer, but that it’s my job to do the footwork. So I do it, each day.

According to Hill, when you have a problem and ask your Higher Power for help:

You will recognize the solution by the soundness of the plan that occurs to you and by the feeling of enthusiasm which accompanies its recognition. As soon as you do recognize the plan, act on it at once! Do not hesitate, argue, challenge, worry, or fret about it. Act on it!

Hill goes on to talk about the various ways that we trip ourselves up with fear, and the power of naming those fears and accepting their existence. Then we can begin to overcome them by proceeding with our Major Purpose. He also speaks about the power of visualization and a Positive Mental Attitude.

For me, visualization is sometimes too powerful, in the sense that we can manifest something we aren’t ready for, or that we only think we want. I believe the power of positive thinking is overrated. I refuse to be an automaton who doesn’t let a little negativity creep in once in a while. Sometimes I even indulge in it. On the other hand, I am certain that obsessing on my fears of inadequacy and all the things wrong with the world and the industry will keep me from ever reaching my goals. So I plan to err on the side of positive thinking, at least most of the time.

I hope you are all pursuing your dreams. Until next time, happy writing!

A Draft per Month for Twelve Months

A year ago in March, I came to the realization that unless I put my writing first, it was never going to get done. My life needed to revolve around my screenwriting, instead of the other way around. That was when I started getting up at 5 and writing for two hours before my kids got up and the day kicked in. It wasn’t perfect, since some of the time was inevitably claimed by dogs, coffee, and a bite to eat, not to mention regular old daydreaming. For the most part, though, it was quite productive. As they say, an ounce of morning is worth a pound of afternoon.

Every once in a while (or more often), I get a notion that if I’d take that morning time to get other things out of the way, I’d have even more time to write during the day. Inevitably, I try it. Sometimes for a week, or two, or even longer. And every single time, I discover that it doesn’t work. When I get up and write first, I may or may not get back to it during the day, but at least I know I got some writing in and the most important thing was taken care of. When I use the time for other things, like this blog, I sometimes get the writing in later and sometimes I don’t. Inevitably, my project stalls, I lose interest, then have to work myself up into a frenzy of motivation, and get back to my morning writing.

The main reason I am sharing this is to come clean and admit that even though I continue to work hard and improve regularly, I am far from perfect. It’s also good for me to have a written account of the struggle to refer back to the next time I start thinking the mornings could be used more constructively. Maybe I’ll save myself the trouble next time.

Another reason I wanted to reiterate the importance of daily, scheduled, uninterrupted writing time, is that I am seriously thinking about setting myself a new goal of a draft per month for twelve months. In that way, I’ll be building up a body of work samples, flexing my screenwriting muscles and getting closer to those 10,000 hours it takes to master a craft, according to Malcolm Gladwell. I know it’s a very lofty and difficult goal, but the outcome can only be positive. What have I got to lose, after all?

I’ve been writing screenplays for a few years now. I took classes and have a great set of tools to take me from inception through final draft. I have a working support alliance, and I’m evaluating scripts for students at my old school. It’s time to sh*t or get off the pot, as my dear departed Mom would have said. I’d like to think she’d be proud of me. Is there anyone out there who would care to join me in a draft per month for twelve months? Happy writing!

Smashing Procrastination

When I started screenwriting, I procrastinated over the usual things. The kids had to be picked up, the reports needed typing, the bills paying, the housework, the dinner, the DVR with my favorite TV show on it. I eventually realized that if I didn’t give screenwriting a central place in my life and its own home on my schedule, I would never finish anything.

Over time, I learned to put my writing first and everything else after it. It took some trial and error, and eventually I settled into a time slot early in the morning, before the interruptions started.  That worked really well for a while.

Until… I got better at disciplining myself to write, and my procrastination got better too.  While I was writing, it was off doing push-ups. It learned to wait for me to let my guard down, and then pounce.

Sometimes, I don’t even know I’m  procrastinating. Blogging, for instance, has become a major source of procrastination for me. The rationale is that it is an important networking tool, and that I am furthering my screenwriting efforts by sharing what I know. And technically, it is writing. It’s good practice for me to put myself “out there.” In some ways, it really helps me. And so do social networking and discussions and forums and email updates and research and books and trades… you get the picture. Even TV-watching helps me prepare to achieve my goals.

And then there are the really beneficial distractions. I am beginning to read and evaluate scripts. I’ve got two writers groups, one of which I am organizing. The other one is made up of members with far more experience than I (translation — I have to prove my worthiness to be there). Those things will take up several hours per week, but will also make my writing better.

So now it’s not only my family, home, hubby’s business, two dogs, and managing everyone’s schedules, but all those writing-related activities as well. And suddenly, there’s too many important things to get done and no time to work on my White Collar Spec! I’ve gotten away from it without even realizing it was happening. That’s how cunning procrastination is.

So I’m back to square one, having to learn the same lesson. Screenwriting first, everything else second.

Okay, it sounds good, but what does it mean? How do I fight this enormously powerful enemy—procrastination in all its forms?

This is where I need all the tools at my command. First of all, I need to be absolutely clear about what is most important and why. I can look back at my statement in Hill’s Key #1, in which I developed a “Major Purpose.” I can remember how much I want to work in TV, and how all the other things in my life can support that if I let them. I can talk to members of my mastermind alliance, and therefore stay accountable. I can admit it in my blog: I’m not getting much writing done. I can make a commitment: I will finish my first draft by Wednesday. It is more important than the script evaluation due tomorrow, the preparation for my groups, or the laundry that needs folding.

Now it gets a little tricky. See, all those other things still have to get done. They are important and if I try to neglect them, they get in the way of my writing by pulling my focus. That’s another thing I’ve had to learn the hard way.  Therefore, my second task is to make a list of priorities. First priority, screenplay. Second priority, evaluation. Third, meeting preparation, fourth housework.  No, that can’t work. I’ve forgotten about personal care and family care. Those things can’t get put on hold indefinitely.  So here’s the revision:

1.  Screenplay—first draft finished Wednesday, about 6 hours per day

2.  Personal Care (shower, meals, sleep, etc.), 11 hours, 7 left

3.  Kids to school, to home, homework done, appointments kept. 2 hours 5 to go, plus all my downtime gets spent with them and hubby, and meals, too.

4.  Bare minimum of housework (just for this week) 1 hour incl. laundry and meal clean-up, 4 left

5.  Evaluation of script due Monday. 3 to 4 hours, but I’ll start it tonight, jut in case it takes longer

6.  Breakdown of 2 – 4 TV Shows or Movies by Wednesday Evening. I’d better make it 2 TV shows, and get it done Tuesday!

7.  Preparation for Writer Action Group Thursday Evening. Mercifully, it’s mostly done.

8.  Now that I know the priorities, I can map out a schedule so everything gets the attention it needs and I get some downtime, too. Like all day Friday, for starters.

9.  Each and every time I catch that devil procrastination in all its cunning disguises sneaking up on me, I will take a gigantic mental sledgehammer, and smash it to smithereens!

How do you fight procrastination?

Napoleon Hill’s 2nd Key to Success: Establish a Mastermind Alliance

Okay, time to get real. I’ve been dragging my feet on this key, because I didn’t think I had a Mastermind Alliance, which Hill defines as “… two or more minds working actively together in perfect harmony toward a common definite object.”

Although I certainly appreciate the importance of forming a Mastermind Alliance, I have no clue how to put one together for myself, right now, today. Sure, I started a new Writer’s Group. That’s great. We all want to write screenplays, get better at writing screenplays, and get paid to write screenplays. But in terms of a group of people working towards a common definite purpose, does it fit the bill? They like me and want me to be successful, I think, but they aren’t working towards my success.  And I’m not working towards theirs either. Except, in giving each other support and positive feedback, helpful insights and criticism, we do make each other’s work better.

If I had an agent, a manager, or a writing partner, they could be part of my alliance. But I don’t have any of those. They would certainly want the same things I want – for me to make money and have a rewarding writing career. When I have a job in TV, a mastermind alliance will take place in the writer’s room, because we will all be working towards the same goal of a great next episode of the show.

But that’s all in the future. What about now, when I have to do the really hard work of getting to the show that I will eventually work on? Who will help me now? Okay, there is the former teacher who has always been a cheerleader for me, and made me feel good about all the effort I put in. I suppose he is working towards my success. He is always willing to give me honest and helpful feedback that makes my writing better.

Then there’s my husband and kids. My two teenagers have been my greatest supporters. They have both had unwavering faith in my ability to be a success, and endless patience with me during the process.  Although they pay the price for my dream by living with a mom who isn’t as available to them as I’d like to be, they never complain. They are glad I am doing something that makes me happy. They help me stay up on pop culture, slang and what their friends are watching. They even, once in a while, pick up some of the slack on the housework that gets neglected so I can put more time in writing. Wow. They are definitely working for a common purpose.

I can’t even begin to tell you how supportive my husband has been. In a way, I think it’s harder for him than the kids. For one thing, I’m quite unavailable in the role he needs me to fill as administrative assistant for his home-based business. Other than typing the occasional letter and sending out a report here and there, he’s on his own. He works hard, makes most of the money, and believes in me with almost the same naiveté as the kids do. And he’s a tough, cynical Irishman, so that is saying a lot. And he does it while hardly ever complaining that he does most of the shopping and it’s sometimes difficult to find a clean pair of socks.

Then there’s my sister, my nieces, and my two best girlfriends, who always find time to support me and put up with my absent-minded ways when we’re supposed to be having lunch, but I’m up in my head, writing.  There are the Social Networking sites, the online groups I belong to, the networking events I attend. Oh, and the wonderful people who read my blog, and write blogs that help me.

It seems I’ve been building a Mastermind Alliance without even knowing it. And it’s a damn powerful one.

Do you have a mastermind alliance? If you are working hard at a dream, the support shows up. I would love to hear about yours.