A Networking Story

Hi all,

I’ve been having some good luck with networking lately, and I thought I would share the following emails I exchanged with Manny Fonseca. He’s a weekly columnist for the http://www.thebusinessofshowinstitute.com/newsletter-06-29-12.html#06-29-12-12 . He also mentioned me in this week’s column. If you’re a screenwriter and you’re not reading this newsletter, you are missing out on a valuable opportunity to gain insider knowledge of the industry at no cost.

As far as networking is concerned, I’ve come to believe that there is no one too important to  reach out to, so long as you know how to do it and respect boundaries. Here is our exchange:

Hi Manny,

I love your column and appreciate the time you take to help out those of us trying to break into the business. I particularly love your advice on what not to do when you get an opportunity to meet with mucky-mucks.

I’m a fairly new screenwriter in New York, and have been working hard to master the craft for about three years. My goal is to get a job in TV at the staff table. I’ve applied for the network fellowships and workshops, but know what a long shot it is. Everyone has told me that I have to be in LA to work in TV, and I have taken this advice to heart. I definitely don’t want to die without at least giving it a chance.

A few months ago you mentioned the “living in LA” question in your column, and said something like — if you’re married, and your spouse doesn’t want to move, leave him. Although I know you were joking, I agree that there are worse reasons for separation! In my case it is not only my husband, but also my two teenagers who have no desire to be in LA. I am making preparations to move out there on my own in the fall and give it a shot. If it works, I’ll bring them out there, if not I’ll come home. I’ve worked too hard and love this too much not to take a shot.

My question is, other than the usual approach of meeting everyone possible and attending networking events, do you have any particular advice to hit the ground running? Since I’m leaving my family to pursue my dream, I want to make the best possible use of my time.

Once again, thank you for your time and attention. I’d love to buy you a drink sometime to show my gratitude and shoot the breeze.

Karen

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Karen,

First off…wow.

What does hubby and the kids think?  Or, have you even told them yet?

I shared your email with a couple of friends over the weekend and they were both semi-horrified even going to the joke that my advice “was breaking up a family.”

I’m not like them though…I applaud what you’re doing.  The “what if” is WAY more brutal than the trying and failing thing.  At least with the latter you know now.  Know what I mean?

My advice, although it might be kinda hard, is to try and get an internship somewhere.  You need to have some development experience under your belt and some “street cred.”

The golden opportunities are getting writer assistant jobs, interns on TV shows or working as a producer’s assistant.  Not sure what your background is and what your job history is like, but I’m sure you’re more than capable of surviving out here.

I will tell you straight up…it’s VERY lonely doing it on your own.  Even when you have someone.  My roommate is a very good friend of mine.  She finally moved out here this year and it’s been pretty hard on her.  She sits in the apartment all day with little to do.  She’s working on stuff, but nowhere near the amount of stuff she WANTS to be working on.

Keep that in mind.

As for that drink.  I’m buying the first round to celebrate your newfound road to happiness.  And please know you have a friend and a supporter of the cause.  Get out here and lets make it happen!

Manny

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Hi Manny,

I have to say, it was very classy of you to respond to my email so quickly and generously. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you at all. It means a lot, and gives me so much more courage to network.

My hubby and kids are scared but supportive. We plan to Skype constantly and visit whenever possible. Since they’ve been living with my obsession, too, they know how important it is for me to give it a shot. I think if we weren’t scared it would be weird. But, I believe we’ll get through it and end up together in the same city, hopefully while we reap the benefit of financial rewards through work in screenwriting.

I’m hoping to get some production credit under my belt this summer, and also to finish my original pilot, which will give me three good samples of my work. I also believe there is a good chance I’ll at least get an interview with either Disney, WB or NBC on the Verge. My applications, spec script and reference letters were very respectable.

I’ll definitely need to have paid work when I get out there.

I have a screenwriting blog at http://karenlovestv.com. I’d like to share some of your letter with my followers, along with a referral to your column/newsletter, of course. Would that be alright with you? It’s an article about networking strategies.

I’ll keep you informed and let you know when I’m arriving! Thanks for your support and advice,

Karen


Please, share whatever you like.

Let me offer this true tale.

Be prepared.

I preface this story with the knowledge that I realize that a girlfriend is very different than a husband and kids.  I know this BUT…

Be prepared.

When I came out here I had been dating a girl for two years.  We did all the usuals.  She bought a webcam.  We made plans to Skype.   Text.  Chat daily.

Buy shit happens.  You miss you’re first Skype date and it’s “what happened”. You say working late and they’re VERY supportive.

You miss your third Skype date and it’s what the fuck?

5th and you’re growing apart.

7th and its heading downhill.

Then there’s the reverse.  You’ve just put in a 12 hour day.  You get home exhausted and just want to say hi and go to bed.  You jump on…where the hell are you?  You get this text…”watching blah blah blah, jump on in 15.” and you get resentful.  You don’t want to wait 15.  You want to go to bed.

My point is this…don’t plan anything.  Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.  Come out here ready to work but also prep yourself that it just MAY be one or the other.

What if you make it and they change their minds and don’t want to live in California?

What if you make it and they move but are resentful?

My girlfriend never had any intention of coming out here.  She never thought I’d make it and catered to the fantasy.  She supported the 3-4 month plan and then when I got a full time gig she “was happy for me” but not happy for me.  Know what I mean?

Just be prepared.

That’s all.

M

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Checking In

I haven’t been blogging as much as I’d like, because I’ve been so busy writing my scripts. Here’s a sneak peek into what I’ve been up to lately, and what I plan to write about in the near future.

  • How many drafts does it take to get to a final product?
  • Writing with a partner – joys and frustrations
  • Getting those applications off and what not to do
  • Nerdist.com
  • What script evaluations teach me

Success

It’s measured in moments. Tiny increments of achievement, over time add up to significant progress. Sometimes you notice them. Once in a while, someone else notices. Most often, they go unrecognized in the daily grind of life, when you struggle at the keyboard to finish a scene, to edit what you wrote yesterday, to elevate the content from the mundane and derivative to something fresh and captivating.

Suddenly, one day, you’ve arrived at a milestone. You didn’t see it or hear it coming, but you felt it gathering. Maybe you weren’t sure what it was, exactly, but you knew things were shifting, you were getting somewhere. In moments of doubt, you wondered if it was your imagination. There’s only one thing to do. Keep writing.

It’s been a few years now, and you are sending out an application, just like the rest of the world of aspiring screenwriters. That most coveted prize of the ABC/Disney Fellowship dangles before you. You know you’re a serious candidate, that you’d be an asset to the staff table, but hardly dare to hope that anyone else will recognize that. There are many gifted people out there. How do you stand out from the crowd?

So, you call on your most trusted teacher/advisor, and ask him to take another look at your spec script, even though he’s already evaluated it several times. And just to be sure, get a fresh pair of eyes to look it over, too. They tell you it’s good, although those words are not usually spoken in the context of the evaluation. Aside from a few suggestions of small edits, they have no notes for me. In fact, they both say they like it better than the show it’s based on. And in that moment you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you can really do it. You can achieve your dream and write for TV.

Now you are ready, and you dare to ask for the letters of recommendation you need to include with the application. It seems incredibly audacious, but you ask the friend in the writers’ room who’s too busy to eat if she’ll take a look at your script and write a recommendation. Since she knows how hard you work, and how much you want it, and also because she’s incredibly nice, she says she’ll be honored. You’ve already received another letter from your first teacher, an award-winning filmmaker. You really admire his work, and the praise in the letter is dazzling. He writes as though you are his equal.

You’re calm. Even though you’ve worked years for this recognition, you didn’t expect it. You know you’re ready to move on to the next level. There’s no mania, none of the adrenalin that accompanies forcing the way through things you just have to have. Your brain buzzes with hope and something else. That feeling that you’ve earned your seat and that it’s coming. Maybe you’ll win the fellowship and maybe you won’t, but you deserve it.

That moment is real success. And no achievement will ever feel better.

Napoleon Hill’s 4th Key: Use Applied Faith

Some people believe in the God they learned about in their families of origin, others in a Higher Power of their own understanding. According to Napoleon Hill (and millions of twelve-steppers), it doesn’t matter what you believe in, as long as you are willing to put your faith in a Higher Power and act on it. As it says in “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “faith without works is dead.” According to Hill, faith is a state of mind that can be developed through daily practice. He refers to his own higher power as “Infinite Intelligence.”

Hill goes on to describe the various ways faith in “Infinite Intelligence” can be found. He discusses the patterns and order to be found in nature, and compares them to the workings of a wristwatch, in that it could never have been created randomly. Then he goes on to the inner workings of the mind, the still, small voice inside that guides us, the creative energy of the Mastermind Alliance, or the union of multiple minds to a single purpose, and the conscience which teaches us right from wrong.

Like Hill, I am a firm believer in a daily spiritual practice, which I have accomplished with varying degrees of success for the past twenty years or so. It began with “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron, and her wonderful suggestion of morning pages. Through those pages I found my voice as a writer, but first I found myself.  The days I didn’t write them, I felt disconnected from me. I was less able to make decisions, take positive actions, or even identify how I was feeling. My morning pages kept me in touch with what was most important to me.

From there I began to do some meditation, to write a gratitude list, and, yes, to pray. I came to believe in a Higher Power that had a plan for me. H.P. gave me talents and a dream and it became clear that it was my responsibility to use those talents. Since little else had worked for me in the career department, I threw myself into the dream of screenwriting.

I believe that’s what Hill means by “applied faith.” When those negative voices creep in to say I’m too old, not talented enough, or wasting my time, I only have to remind myself that I’ve got a job to do and my H.P. wants me to do it. And that no obstacle is too large for the Universe to conquer, but that it’s my job to do the footwork. So I do it, each day.

According to Hill, when you have a problem and ask your Higher Power for help:

You will recognize the solution by the soundness of the plan that occurs to you and by the feeling of enthusiasm which accompanies its recognition. As soon as you do recognize the plan, act on it at once! Do not hesitate, argue, challenge, worry, or fret about it. Act on it!

Hill goes on to talk about the various ways that we trip ourselves up with fear, and the power of naming those fears and accepting their existence. Then we can begin to overcome them by proceeding with our Major Purpose. He also speaks about the power of visualization and a Positive Mental Attitude.

For me, visualization is sometimes too powerful, in the sense that we can manifest something we aren’t ready for, or that we only think we want. I believe the power of positive thinking is overrated. I refuse to be an automaton who doesn’t let a little negativity creep in once in a while. Sometimes I even indulge in it. On the other hand, I am certain that obsessing on my fears of inadequacy and all the things wrong with the world and the industry will keep me from ever reaching my goals. So I plan to err on the side of positive thinking, at least most of the time.

I hope you are all pursuing your dreams. Until next time, happy writing!

Perfection is the Enemy

I’m almost done with my first draft of the White Collar Spec, and I’m terrified to finish it. I realized it was because I think it’s supposed to be good. I forgot how important it is to write the first draft, let it be terrible and edit it until it gets better, and keep editing it until it gets good, then really good, then the best it can be.

It’s funny, how I have to learn the same lessons over and over. The first draft doesn’t matter. No matter what I do, it will launch me into the rewrites. It will be a stepping stone to something better. And no matter what expectations I have, that is all it should ever be.

I’m lucky to have an excellent reader to give me notes, and an excellent set of tools to work with. I don’t want to disappoint him, or hear the notes. And even as I say it I know it’s not true. Without those notes, it might never reach the point of excellence I strive for. Considering I’ve only finished one script so far, it most likely won’t reach it anyway. But the only way out is through. I’m in this for the long haul.

No more procrastinating. On Monday, I will have a first draft to turn in, and it will be terrible. I promise. As far as the notes go… bring it on, baby! Until next time, happy writing!

Napoleon Hill’s 3rd Key: Assemble an Attractive Personality

Napoleon Hill’s 3rd Key to Success: “Assemble an Attractive Personality”

This key is quite daunting to me, I have to admit. I used to think of my personality as being something I was born with, not something that I had control over, let alone responsibility for. Of course it makes perfect sense to cultivate mannerisms and attitudes that are appealing to others. I just would prefer to think of it as out of my control. Which, it turns out, is a completely self-defeating stance to take.

According to Hill, there are twenty-five aspects of our personalities that can be worked on, although many of them are inter-related. It all starts with a Positive Mental Attitude, or PMA:

PMA is the most important aspect of any attractive personality; indeed, it is crucial to many of the Seventeen Principles of Success. PMA influences your tone of voice, your posture, your facial expressions. It modifies every word you say and every emotion you feel. It affects every thought you have and the results your thoughts bring you.

Over and over, I’ve read that in order to get a job in the writer’s room, the show-runner has to like you enough to want to spend ten hours per day in the same room with you. No one wants to spend ten minutes in the company of a negative, whiny writer who doesn’t enjoy the work, the company, or support other’s ideas. It makes sense to me! Unless you have a positive attitude, chances are good that you’ll never get the interview, let alone the job–even if you are a great writer.

Some people are great at hiding the way they really feel. Others wear their hearts on their sleeves. For me, the worst thing someone can be is phony.  Give me an honest and angry companion over a smiling, sneaky one any day of the week. I’d rather know what I’m dealing with.

One thing I notice a lot, in women particularly, but not exclusively, is a neurotic tendency to think everything is about them. They examine every interaction for the seed of an insult, and then nurture it until it grows into resentment within them. It’s exhausting just to think about. Everyone walks on eggshells around them to avoid saying anything that can be misinterpreted.

I prefer to believe that nothing anyone else does is really about me; not even direct insults. If I’ve done something wrong, I try to apologize and take responsibility. Otherwise, if you have a problem with me, I’m certain it has more to do with what’s going on in your life. Or perhaps you recognize some character flaw in me that you dislike in yourself. In either case, it’s none of my business. I keep my eyes on my own work, I don’t gossip and I try to accept others for who they are. It’s true that I love to give advice, but a better strategy is to share my experience if someone has a problem. That way they know I understand and I’m not judging them.  If I really don’t understand what they are going through, I’ll say so, hopefully with compassion.

One of the great things about being in my forties is the perspective it gives me. When I was a kid, I thought if everyone knew where I was coming from, they would understand me. Today I know it’s much simpler than that. No one ever will know where we are coming from, because no one else has walked in our shoes. And we haven’t walked in theirs. We bring a lifetime of experience to every moment of every day.

There’s way too much in this chapter of great importance for me to cover in one blog, so perhaps I’ll come back to this key again. Hill covers so many important topics, such as tact and courtesy, tolerance, and promptness of decision.  It really is life-changing. I’ll leave with this:

The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going. Napoleon Hill

Do you believe that an attractive personality is an important key to success? Have you worked at cultivating PMA? Send me an email @ karenlovestv.verizon.net —I’d love to hear about it.

Until next time, happy writing!